Blog Post 1 "A Playlist About Me" Revised

Who I am 

First things first my name is Rachel, I am from a small town centered between Appleton and Green Bay called Wrightstown. Here at UWSP I am double majoring in Social Work and Sociology with a minor in Criminal Justice. Back home I spend most of my time riding my horses and going to horse shows.

My mom, dad and I Prom 2016

Like most little girls I absolutely adore my dad, I am a daddy’s girl, and I wanted everything to do with him when I was little. Every night when he came home from work he would scoop me up and spin me around no matter how bad his day might have been. Bedtime was never complete until he came to say bedtime prayers with me, and check under the bed for scary monsters. As my biggest supporter, he made sure to attend every horse show making sure he was the loudest cheerer in the stands. No matter the circumstance or problem he is always waiting for me to run to him for help, whether it is for advice or car troubles, even advice on what prom dress to buy. My dad has helped me overcome some of the most difficult times in my life, especially when I was struggling being at college. When he moved me in he made sure that everything was perfect, that I was comfortable and that I knew he loved me and was there for me no matter what. Every night to this day he makes sure to text me good night and tells me he loves me.

My dogs Bandit (left) and Teddy (right)
Photo Credit: my dad

Despite the troubles and tribulations, I have gone through so far in my life I have managed to hold on and keep living. While it has not been easy, and at times it felt like I could not breathe, I somehow made it.  Many times when I felt lost, or alone, and ready to give up on everything, there would be another reason to keep going. With every struggle, my grip on life became weaker, as my life seemed like it was spinning out of control, each time faster than the time before. While my life felt like it was crashing, my faith in God grew stronger, my trust in him grew rapidly and eventually my struggles slowly became easier to handle. I longed for a purpose to hold on, to make it one more day, and each time I made it and survived one more struggle, it became easier. Eventually I found my way home, I found a meaning, a purpose, a reason, and I kept living no matter what I was going through. "Broken" by Lifehouse. is a constant reminder for me that no matter what I might be going through at the moment, there is a reason to keep breathing and to hold on a little longer, because no matter what everything will be okay in the end.

"Strong Enough" by Matthew West, is a constant reminder that "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me" -Philippians 4:13. With every hardship my mom reminded me to turn to God and ask him for help. While that wasn’t the answer I liked or wanted to hear, it was what I needed to hear. Even though I didn’t like her answer, when I gave my problems to god, it felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders, and my problems seemed easier to get through. I truly believe that alone I can do so little but with him I can do so much.

My Grandma and I the day before I left for College

Photo Credits: my brother 

At one point I questioned who I was, what made me, and what makes me who I am. After listening to the song "Who am I" by Jessica Andrews, I realized who I was. In the song she describes that she's Rosemary's granddaughter, a splitting image of her father and that her mamma is her biggest fan. I am a splitting image of my grandma, I am a daughter, a sister, and at the end of the day I am me. That I am someone who loves unconditionally, someone who would give everything just to make a difference in someone else's life. I am the girl who loves horses, the one who spends every waking moment at the barn riding. While at times I question who I am as a person or where I’m going, at the end of the day I know what made me who I am and most of all who I am.

My horse Mumford and I
Photo Credits: My friend Emily

I have always been that horse crazy obsessed kid. My love for horses is something that many people saw as a phase whereas in reality it is my passion, my life, my everything. Some people say that there is one horse that changes you, and that was my first horse, Mumford. I got Mumford as a Christmas present when I was ten. He quickly went from being just a horse, to my best friend who taught me more than just how to ride but how to love, how to trust and how to see the good in the bad. Mumford was not an easy horse to get along with, as he was stubborn much like myself. He had multiple owners before me, who ditched him, and said he was garbage. I saw him as more though, I saw his potential, and I didn't see him as garbage, because to me he was everything. It was one day at the barn that the song “500 Miles” by The Proclaimers came on, and instantly it became "Mumford's song." A few years ago we had to put him down after he broke his leg, I was devastated as I lost my best friend that day, but hit has made"500 miles" so much more special to me. While most people said he was nothing more than garbage, I loved him unconditionally, to me he was my best friend, the best teacher, and I would walk 500 miles just to see him again.

Attached to every goodnight text is a picture of my dogs, and a synopsis of the trouble they got in that day, which makes each day away a little bit easier. There are not words to express how much my dad means to me, and how much I love him but the song "Cinderella" by Curtis Chapman couldn't be more fitting as I am my dad’s little princess.